Listen
So, Mom moved my Grandmother, 84, in a nursing home last November. Anyone who has heard me describe my Grandma knows that it is truly difficult to imagine her in a state in which she is unable to care for herself. She is smart, fiesty and independent (not at all like me ;-); but unfortunately, she is at an age where she just can't take care of herself anymore. Erik (brother)and I visited her before Christmas, and I am so glad we did. It is true that she needs help walking, and her short-term memory is lacking, but Grandma is still very much there.
I have been calling her every couple of weeks since I visited her, and our conversations are always good. She is still fiesty, and actually, rather annoyed at her situation. She wishes she could have all of her independence back, and I wish I could give it to her. I know I can't.
What I can do is call her, listen, and invite her into my world, where in the cycle of life, I am really just beggining. When we spoke yesterday, I was telling her all about Owen, my three- week-old nephew, and describing how my pregnancy is going. She loved hearing about it all, and before you know it, Grandma had invited me into her world, and was telling me stories of what Mom was like as a baby...what her cry was like, when and why she got hungry, how hard it was for Grandma to leave Mom when she went back to work when Mom was a toddler. She was laughing while she was talking, and I could hear the smile on her face.
Listening to her was really such a joy, as I started picturing her as a young woman. I pray that everyone who is consumed by taking care of her now could step back and see that side of her, and know that while she can be difficult sometimes, she is just fighting inside to stay young and truly "live"... and isn't that what we are all trying to do, just in different stages?
I will remember this and teach Baby P. to be patient with people and to remember that every person has a story to tell, and if you don't listen, you can't learn from them, and you certainly can't help them. C
I have been calling her every couple of weeks since I visited her, and our conversations are always good. She is still fiesty, and actually, rather annoyed at her situation. She wishes she could have all of her independence back, and I wish I could give it to her. I know I can't.
What I can do is call her, listen, and invite her into my world, where in the cycle of life, I am really just beggining. When we spoke yesterday, I was telling her all about Owen, my three- week-old nephew, and describing how my pregnancy is going. She loved hearing about it all, and before you know it, Grandma had invited me into her world, and was telling me stories of what Mom was like as a baby...what her cry was like, when and why she got hungry, how hard it was for Grandma to leave Mom when she went back to work when Mom was a toddler. She was laughing while she was talking, and I could hear the smile on her face.
Listening to her was really such a joy, as I started picturing her as a young woman. I pray that everyone who is consumed by taking care of her now could step back and see that side of her, and know that while she can be difficult sometimes, she is just fighting inside to stay young and truly "live"... and isn't that what we are all trying to do, just in different stages?
I will remember this and teach Baby P. to be patient with people and to remember that every person has a story to tell, and if you don't listen, you can't learn from them, and you certainly can't help them. C
posted by Carol Piering at 8:31 AM
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